Here I am playing a game of checkers I realize more and more that the dating ‘game’ is most likely not for me, even if I’ve tried it a gazillion times in the past and will probably feel the need to try again sometime in the future, right now I am done with it.
There is space in my life for people who have humor and positivity. Who are able to communicate openly about their feelings, who respect my feelings, my boundaries and who enjoy an in depth conversation in which we simply get to know ourselves better, (which to me is the reason why we are alive at all). People who can appreciate when you give them your precious time, energy, attention and tender love and who live and let live without shame or too much prejudice.
To me these things above are so basic. It is so simple. I didn’t pick up these things in my youth, I had to teach myself to try live from this frame of love. Because I deserve that, others deserve this love & respect and it feels good to act according to these values. I will stick to them even if someone is unable to understand my kindness. Even if someone does not seem able to meet me halfway I will still answer with kindness and respect. Because that is what I am: love. And it makes me feel good inside.
I wish you a light day with the sun rays on your face giving little touches of love.
2018 Mijn gammele cassette
2016 Zinken & Zweven
2008 Elly Kellner (EP)
2002 Meet you slowly
2001 Keshri – Keshri Transition
2000 Silence no more
1999 Edisni Kool
1998 W.A. Hahaha
1997 Demo Radio Rijnmond
1997 My tjili
1996 Burn out
1996 – Burn out
Recorded by Peer v/d Vecht (02-07-1996). Cassette – Album cover created by Elly Kellner. Elly Kellner: Vocals, Acoustic guitar.
Long before the term burn out became so widely used I gave this name to my first ever album. For me it had no apparent connection with the feeling of physical and emotional exhaustion that we would now link to a burn out. It had indeed more to do with the friend who made the first official recordings of my songs, Peer and his love for motorcycles. A burnout, as explained in the unwritten bikers’ dictionary, is the practice of keeping a motorcycle stationary and spinning its rear wheel, causing the tires to heat up and therefore causing smoke from friction. Looking back on it now it may have been that it felt like that was in fact happening to me symbolically; there had once been fire in my youth but I still suffered from the smoke that never died out from it. I did not have a burn out but mentally I did still had a lot of mending to do. We recorded these tracks in Peer’s living room and it was a very positive experience for me.
1997 – My tjili
My tjili contains home-recorded songs as well as songs recorded in café de Zet*. Cassette – Album cover created by Elly Kellner. Elly Kellner: Vocals, Acoustic guitar.
I must have recorded these songs in my own living room on cassette tape. I listened a lot to Tori Amos and Kate Bush in this period and I sometimes modified my singing voice to sound more like theirs. Sometimes, looking back on it now, it was a bit too shrill for my liking. As a a teenager I saw Sinead O’Connor as a great vocal example and learned loud singing and belting by listening to her music and trying to copy it. I can see it’s all part of my musical journey. It took a couple of years before I felt more relaxed singing with my own voice.
1997 – Parasomnias
Recorded, mixed and mastered by Wilfred Landa in the summer of 1997. Cassette – Design and art direction by Elly Kellner. Photography by John Posthumus. Elly Kellner: Vocals, Acoustic guitar, Backing vocals, Bass, Percussion. Wilfred Landa: Drums, Percussion.
Fons van Loenhout: Bass on Favourite star.
Wilfred Landa had a multi track recorder and this was the first time I ever recorded with several tracks. We had an absolute blast! Both Wilfred and I put a lot of time and effort into the production of it and I regard it as my first serious album. I was able to put a lot of my thought processes into the songs and was able to work through some emotional subjects whilst creating it; like therapy. In that period I suffered a lot from night terrors and this is where the name Parasomnias came from; dissociated sleep states. I was incredibly proud when it was finished and am still very fond of the songs featured here. The highlight was when we recorded Favourite star in the shed, where the drums were, and outside it started to poor down and thunder loudly; you can still hear it in the recording and I will never forget.
Live recorded at Radio Rijnmond Studios (30-11-1997). Cassette – Album cover created by Elly Kellner. Elly Kellner: Vocals, Acoustic guitar.
I was invited to perform live at Radio Rijnmond by Anita Luchies and played my latest songs there. I remember it was very late and my mum joined me and drove me there I guess, since I had no drivers license or car. The recordings they made were used to create this demo.
1998 – W.A. hahaha
Recorded, mixed and mastered by Wilfred Landa. Cassette – Album cover created by Elly Kellner.
Elly Kellner: Vocals, Backing vocals, Acoustic guitar, Bass. Wilfred Landa: Didgeridoo.
Wilfred’s track recorder once again played a huge role. It was so awesome to have friends who wanted to help me out, develop more of their own recording skills and in the meantime record my music. This little EP was a feisty little look into how I felt at that point in time.
1999 – Edisni Kool
Home recorded by Elly Kellner in 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, except track 1 recorded by Davie Feenstra. CD – Album cover created by Elly Kellner. Elly Kellner: Vocals, Acoustic guitar, Sampling.
Track 1 was recorded at Dave Feenstra’s house who had a proper track recorder and we spent a lot of time on this track, I played Davies 12 string guitar and we layered my voice multiple times. We recorded a couple more songs and I was immensly proud of this version of ‘Nice’. I had meant to make a little EP out the recordings but due to a weird turn of events I never did. Hence, I put it on this collection of recordings. Through the years I had started recording myself on cassettetape as the new songs came to me. After some time I acquired a Minidisk player and I was able to digitally record and go back and forth with it, thus creating several tracks on top of each other. It was an easy and cheap way for me to experiment and develop my singing, playing and timing skills. I would sometimes spend a whole day just recording one song.
2000 – Silence no more
Home recorded by Elly Kellner in 1998, 1999 and 2000. CD – Album cover created by Elly Kellner.
Elly Kellner: Vocals, Backing vocals, Acoustic guitar, Samples
This was a time when I started playing around with percussion, samples and midi keyboards. I had some samples on an LP and I recorded the sounds into my Minidisk Recorder. Some of my recordings became slightly more experimental and made it that little bit more interesting for me. For the song I am your Coca-cola light I made a beat using an empty can of Coca-cola and stuffed my mouth with cotton wool to create a muffled vocal track. In this period I also broke my wrist and as I got frustrated with not being able to create songs I borrowed a basic keyboard and I soon wrote with that. Examples of that are track 3, 5 and 9. Track 17, Shiny Bottle, was created by my friend Angelo Huige and I added the vocals. Angelo played around with electronic beats and with bands like Massive Attack, Portishead, Moloko as our example we used to spend many hours just making up new things.
2001 – Butterflies
Recorded by Peer v/d Vecht. CD – Album cover created by Elly Kellner. Elly Kellner: Vocals, Backing vocals, Acoustic guitar.
As I developed my songwriting skills and was able to write more in depth it got more scary to perform in front of others, I had a hurdle to take when it came to that. But at my friend Peer’s house I always felt comfortable to play and I felt like he took my music seriously. It was so nice that I could just record a big bunch of my newest songs there to save them for posterity.
2001 – Keshri – Keshri Transition
Recorded at CKB Studio (March 2001) track 12, 13 & 14: home recorded by Elly Kellner and track 15 recorded & written by Angelo Huige. All tracks mastered by Rutger Verberkmoes, track 3, 12, 13 and 14 by Andra Veraart. CD – Album cover created by Elly Kellner & Andra Veraart. Photography by John Posthumus.
Elly Kellner: Vocals, Backing vocals, Acoustic guitar. Andra Veraart: Acoustic guitar, Bass guitar and Programming.
From 1999-2003 I joined forces with Andra Veraart and we started our power duo Keshri. The name Keshri came to me in a dream and after thinking of calling ourselves Elly & Andra we decided Keshri would sound much nicer. I have no idea what it means but I identify with it personally; it’s like it is linked with the wizest part of me. With Andra, who was a multi-instrumentalist, we recorded the Keshri Transition. Performing with Andra, I can say those gigs with him were the most relaxed gigs ever; we were both equally perfectionist but had immense focus on the music. We complemented each other in such a way that it kept our collaboration always in a nice and easy flow.
2002 – Meet you slowly
Home recorded by Elly Kellner in 2000 and 2001. CD – Album cover created by Elly Kellner. Elly Kellner: Vocals, Backing vocals, Acoustic guitar.
Here’s a collection of songs that I recorded myself at different moments and with different tecniques. There are some tracks where my sweet parakeets are clearly audible. One of my parakeets was called Piewiew and he could speak Dutch very well. At that time I didn’t really care that they could be heard on my recordings as he was so much a part of my life. He ate from my plate and went into the shower with me. Every day he told me he loved me so it was all good.
In 2003 I moved from the Netherlands to the United Kingdom and even though my English love was the main focus of the move I was also excited for the chance to play my music in England. Looking at my discography it seems like I didn’t record any music from 2002 up till 2008 but that is far from the truth. In England I wrote, recorded, performed, sang backing vocals and set up a band around my music. My songs got more of a rock feel and I played the electric guitar instead of the acoustic. After lenghty rehearsals with the band, I took them back to the Netherlands to record an EP (by producer Danny Gras). The circumstances made it so that in the end these recordings were never put out as an album. In the meantime the internet had become a big thing and like everyone I was putting out my newest solo recordings online and getting feedback from fellow musicians. I learned and experimented so much with music in that period, it was a blast. At the same time I was under a lot of mental pressure. I had suffered with mental illness from when I was a child and working fulltime in the UK, living with a love that had gone sour and being far away from my friends and family didn’t help at all. In 2005 I started having issues with my voice and all my despair came out via my vocal chords. After plenty of hospital visits and a lot of thinking it was time for me to return to the Netherlands, in order to find myself and my voice again. In 2006 I returned and I went straight into much needed therapy. When my voice was back to normal, I started performing solo again and I also started singing in a band called Chanoyu with my longtime friend Danny Gras. Although we never really performed live we did finish an album with awesome psychedelic rock.
2008 – Elly Kellner (EP)
Recorded, mixed and mastered by Danny Gras at Yellow Cactus Studio. Mastered by Hay Zeelen Mastering. Design and art direction by Sicco Faase from Pepperpack, photography by Elly Kellner.
Elly Kellner: Vocals, Acoustic guitar.
Lennart v/d Berg: Bass guitar.
Guido Elshof: Drums.
Moniek de Leeuw: Violin.
In 2008 I was looking a little bit more on the bright side and my longtime friend Danny Gras invited me to make some recordings of my songs in his studio. He asked his friend musicians to play on my new EP and the result was wonderful. The only problem was it didn’t sound at all like my live solo performances and so the plan was made to get a band together. Lennart v/d Berg (bass) who also played on this EP and Niels van Rooij (drums) joined in and from 2008 till 2010 we rehearsed weekly and performed wherever we could. It was a lot of fun banter combined with a good focus on the songs. The songs were what everything else revolved around and even though we never recorded another album with this band set-up we did bring a load of new songs to each gig. Adventures with the guys and always a relaxed atmosphere brought by Lennart and Niels, wonderful memories.
2012 – Successfool
Produced, recorded and mixed by Elly Kellner (Sept. 2011 – Oct 2012). Mastered by Hay Zeelen Mastering. CD / Design and art direction by Mandy van Goeije. Elly Kellner: Vocals, Backing vocals, Acoustic guitar.
By the time I got to the year 2011 I had many new songs that I wanted to record. I had already been recording my own music in the years before but after Danny Gras taught me the ropes in Cubase I decided I wanted to properly record and mix my own new album. Successfool is the result. It was also a turning point as well when it comes to songwriting; here we can spot the first Dutch songs and after this I made the switch to focus more on writing Dutch lyrics over a longer period of time.
2016 – Zinken & Zweven
Recorded, mixed and mastered by BJ Baartmans at Studio Wilverband in the winter of 2015/2016.
CD – Album cover created by Elly Kellner. Illustratie by Eliza Klein. Elly Kellner: Vocals, Backing vocals, Acoustic guitar, Electric guitar on track 11 & 12, Casio on track 12.
BJ Baartmans: Mandolin, Bass, Drums. Percussie, Guitars: Electric, Acoustic, Ebow, Resonator.
Particularly in 2014 I started focusing on writing about the deep thoughts and emotions that I had never expressed clearly. I wanted to get past any censorship or taboo so I wrote about suicide, nothingness, binge-eating, feeling the emptyness and the loss of inspiration. It took me some time before I could play the songs without crying; again the music was my therapy. By 2015 I had written so many songs that it was hard to choose which ones to put on an album! Out of the big heap I made a selection of 25 songs and then organised a songfestival where the audience could give points to each song and the songs that received the highest scores made it on to this album. I recorded Zinken & Zweven at BJ Baartmans studio and he added such wonderful instrumentation, really tuning into what each song needed. It is such a wonderful thing to be able to create music and lyrics that go pretty deep but still sounds inviting and easy on the ear. Because of this Zinken & Zweven is one of my favourite albums.
Mijn gammele cassette
Recorded, mixed and mastered by Danny Gras at De Kift Studio (March 2018), except track 15, 16 and 17 recorded by Elly Kellner in 2014. Album cover created by Elly Kellner. Elly Kellner: Vocals, Backing vocals, Acoustic guitar, Beats, Electronic instruments.
The songs on Mijn gammele cassette were all written in the 2014/2015 period and were hidden away, forgotten almost. After taking a break from performing live I decided to start writing and singing in English again and to let go of my adventure with the Dutch songs. But when my friend Danny suggested to have a recording session at the Kift Studio I suddenly felt these songs still needed to be put out there. By that time Danny and I had known each other for over 20 years so it was special to be working together again. The title Mijn gammele cassette refers to a line in the song Perfecte accessoire but could easily be linked to the analogue tape that was used to make this retro recordings. The songs on this album are in the same line as the previous one but the big difference is that this is just me, Elly, a woman and her guitar, as I always was and when you play Mijn gammele cassette you may well believe that I’m sitting right next to you playing the songs for you personally. That was the aim.
Yay, I have another video for you, this time I’m showing you how I add color to my comic with ecoline and then how I edit my image digitally afterwards. Also I speak about dating and men, so that is quite exciting. Have a peek or a peak and enjoy! ♥
We all have some sort of coping mechanisms to deal with certain parts of life. Here I show you how I created this drawing and also give you an insight on how I edit it digitally afterwards. I work with Paint.net and although I’m not an expert it works very well for me. Come have a peek! ♥
How much fun it was to film my new music video with my friend Willeke and my hand puppet Pudding that I created in 2014. We had an absolute blast and some of the silliness and laughter I want to show you in this video! I really think Pudding ought to have his own YouTube channel but I would have to find a passionate and good puppeteer willing to do this with me. I wish I could do it all myself but alas I can’t. Anyway, enjoy this video and share it with whomever might love it! ♥
Did you know I make music as well as drawing? And sometimes I also enjoy creating my own music video. Yesterday I finished a video for my new upcoming Dutch album called ‘Mijn gammele cassette’ that comes out in June 2018 and I want to share it with you even if you don’t speak Dutch. The hand puppet in the video is called Pudding and I created him myself as well! My friend Willeke was the puppeteer and she did an awesome job! ♥
The topics in my songs are similar to what I draw about 🙂 This song is about a guy who is indecisive and taking advantage of me and the crush I had on him. From 09-06-2018 my new album can be found via Spotify & iTunes.
Want to know more specifically about my background on music? Visit my website: www.ellykellner.com